The Gift of Paying Attention
It’s spring, 1998…
I’m sitting in the passengers seat of my dad’s GMC Jimmy and we’re stopped at a stop sign, two cars back, waiting to take a right hand turn.
It’s warm enough that the windows are down and Torn, by Natalie Imbruglia, is playing on the radio.
I’m looking out the window at an oak tree growing in the middle of the sidewalk, cement cracking to accommodate the deep roots that have taken hold; its’ large, beautiful, green leaves fill the branches and cast a shadow that dances across the street with the breeze.
Every year, it seemed as if Mother Nature, on a random date of her choosing, filled her lungs with crisp winter air and with a warm and loving exhale, breathed new life into all that had been dormant throughout our long New England winter. POOF! By morning, warm gentle breezes swirled through the air, leaves filled the trees and fresh blooms burst forth.
Today was that random date of her choosing.
And as I took in the beauty of this ordinary moment, my curious heart began to wonder about all of the small, slow, easily overlooked changes that had been happening during the previous weeks + months, while I was too busy to notice. I wondered when the subtle, earthy scent of spring first began to hang in the air, when the buds began to form on the branches, and what the evolution of leaves waking up + expanding out from their slumber looked like up close.
Born from that curiosity was a determination to pay more attention; to slow down, to pause, to notice the subtle, yet perfectly orchestrated, shifts that occur during the change of seasons.
This was my unofficial introduction to mindfulness, long before I ever really knew what it was.
And every year since 1999 - which, let’s be honest, was only only like 10 years ago…right?? - I have been paying attention.
I’ve paid attention as the daffodils begin peaking through the cold, hard, early spring soil.
I’ve paid attention as the lifeblood of my favorite maple tree returns, traveling through the branches and transforming them from brittle, brown sticks into strong, nourishing branches. I’ve watched as the tiny buds slowly and delicately open, to create the beautiful crimson canopy that offers me refuge during the dog days of summer.
I’ve paid attention as the air begins to shift and warm gentle breezes make way for cooler, crisper mornings… cozy sweaters + apple cinnamon everything.
And I’ve paid attention as the leaves that once took my breath away, begin to fall from their branches, drifting downward like a gentle rain - reminding me that there is a unique beauty to be found in letting go.
The most beautiful part of all, is what started as an innocent, youthful curiosity about nature, has grown + evolved into the most transformative gift of all - paying more attention to my LIFE.
This is MINDFULNESS in action.
Paying attention … To the present moment…Without Judgment.
The concept of mindfulness can seem simple enough, but, for many of us, it isn’t always quite as easy in practice… and this makes a lot of sense! We live in a culture that celebrates productivity, praises being constantly connected + available, and values the continual pursuit of more… more letters at the end of your name; more $$$, more credibility; more + fancier “things”.
It’s no wonder so many of us are stressed, lonely and unfulfilled. This way of living is exhausting and can leave us feeling more like human doings, than human beings - running on caffeine + autopilot, completely disconnected from the very moments that create our days, our months, our years.
Mindfulness is a tool that can help us combat these pressures, by serving as an anchor to the present moment, allowing us to fully experience our lives and appreciate the subtle beauty in everyday moments. The reassuring news is that each of us has an innate ability to be mindful, we simply need to nurture this inner resource.
During the month of May, we will tend to and nurture our mindfulness skills together, as we explore a variety of ways to slow down and expand our capacity for leaning into + savoring the present moment. As we begin, there is no better place to start than by bringing greater awareness to our days by paying more attention.
3 Ways to Cultivate Presence + Pay More Attention in your Day-to-Day Life
Mindful Breathing
When the demands of the day seem insurmountable and you feel that fight or flight energy bubbling up inside your chest, allow your breath to serve as your tether back to the here-and-now. Mindful breathing is the practice of bringing awareness to + focusing on your breath in the present moment. In doing that, the breath can serve as a regulating resource for your nervous system, reducing sensations of stress and anxiety while bringing about a sense of groundedness and calm. Here are two simple breathing exercises you are welcome to try:
Box Breathing: Inhale through your nose for four counts, pause your breath for four counts, exhale through your nose for four counts, and pause your breath for four counts. Repeat this pattern for 3 cycles or as many times as you’d like.
Deep Belly Breathing: You might consider placing one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Inhale deeply, feeling your belly rise + expand, and then exhale fully, feeling your belly sink + contract. Repeat for 3-5 breath cycles or as many as you’d like.
Engage Your Senses
Have you ever found yourself in a moment - maybe while on vacation, taking in a breathtaking landscape or sharing a magical, fireworks kind of moment with someone you’re crazy about - and thought, I want to hold onto this moment forever?
One of the best ways to do this is to fully engage your senses as you capture a photograph in your mind. In a lot of ways, it’s more like one of those Live Photos we can take on our iPhones these days. Gifting yourself the opportunity to pause, drop into the present moment, and capture the sights, scents, sounds, textures, sensations + tastes not only allows you to experience the moment more deeply, but it also allows you to hold onto these moments with greater ease.
Using our senses as a means of paying attention, grounds us in the present moment, helps us slow down, and expands our capacity for greater presence in our daily lives. We don’t have to wait for what we perceive to be extraordinary moments to practice this tool. In fact, leaning into this resource during the most ordinary of moments - as you sip your morning coffee or as your dog lays across your lap after a long day - may lead to the unexpected realization that there is extraordinary waiting to be discovered in the ordinary, when we take the time to pay attention.
Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude involves intentially focusing on the present moment and taking notice of the things + people we appreciate. It can help us pay more attention to the small, ordinary moments in our daily lives that we might otherwise overlook. By focusing on the things we are grateful for, we can cultivate a sense of contentment and fulfillment in our lives. Here are three gratitude practices you are welcome to try:
Gratitude Journal: Consider keeping a journal or notebook on your nightstand where you can write down 3 things you are grateful for before bed. This consistent practice can help shift your focus to the positive moments that happen throughout your day, as you begin to pay more attention and look for the glimmers that will become your gratitudes.
Gratitude Album in your Phone: Snap pictures of “the good stuff”- things that warm your heart + make you smile; people that offer you a safe place to land; food that awakens all of your senses; cute dogs… lots of cute dogs; moments that you’d like to hold onto a little tighter…the list goes on and on. Then, on a rainy day, when life is feeling really freaking hard - as it will sometimes - take a moment to flip through your album as a gentle reminder that even on hard days, hard weeks, hard seasons there is still room for the good stuff.
Gratitude Jar: Place a mason jar or other container of your choosing in a central location within your living space. Everyday, write down one thing that made you laugh, brought you joy, or touched your heart. Fold up your daily gratitude and place it in the jar. Taking a few moments each day to reflect on what you are grateful for can help train your brain to notice and appreciate the little things that make life special. Then, on either your birthday, New Years Eve or other significant date of your choosing, consider opening and revisiting these beautiful moments that shaped your year. If you live with friends or a significant other, this can be a great practice to do together.